Beautiful Disaster

feb 26

2009-02-26T12:58:00.002-04:00

The February Update

Honestly, I have no clue where the month of February went to... Last week I was sick out of my socks, bed bounded... with the flu. As soon as monday Hit I felt much better. Therefore the hopes of me spreading such a 'blessing' simply went down the drains. Thats nothing. Flu season is on and Imma slap the person who has the flu and comes near me... To much money went on gettin Advil Cold and sinus Plus and doing this and that... I am simply flu-free right now..
I finally got an answer to my RA applications. I have a group meeting on saturday.. Quite early compared to my other friends who have it next week but I am not complaining so I guess that is good!!
I finally did my calculus midterm and a religion one yesterday so I feel relieved to the core. I am so happy its over, and hopefully the grades will be something of gold and platinum I hope. I am gonna say this now, if i dont get an A in Calculus, I am redoing the course.!! well I Mean Calculus 2 that Is since I already Have the A in Cal 1.
Offf to some ameelicious shytt right now!!
My "friend" came over yesterday night to see me... that friend just decided to pop by. texted me and then he/she popped by. Ype the same one that upset me... I dont know If i wrote the big upset on here. It was not a really big one but it was more of a blow in the face. After a point I had totally blocked all communications with that friend but recently I got an explanation for such behaviour. One I found quite reasonable, but nothing can excuse that blow though. But softie me... YOU KNOW ALREADY!!...

ahhhh

2009-02-19T12:21:00.001-04:00

I want my Barbie dolls now...
Im in bedd.. under sheets in my robe...
pain pain n the throat.. I cant even sing to make myself feel better.. SO eevrything is just so shitty!!
I honestly dont know ... I just need to close my eyes n study in my dreams...
after that long talk last night with a special someone.. And no not a boy.. a girl... It just.. crashed me kind of...!!! and.. I wish I cud just spill eevrything on here.. Hence I think I might switch to wordpress where they keep private posts... *sighz*

*off to bed to sulk*

Its Sad!!

2009-02-18T14:00:00.002-04:00

SAD, SO Sad!!

So I met up with a new friend today because he came to my school to watch some bball game.. Thats nothing per say. but the story Starts way way way past that... I fell sick yesterday with the flu.. I am so blaming O and L for this one.. LMAO because L had it and some other girls on my floor had the flu also.. So last night I began suffering with that O so high Fever..
I got driven to spring gardens to shoppersmart to get some Advil for the flu... So there is this friend who lol didnt want to mingle with me since he was so scared of gettin the flu.. I texted one of my bffz the joke and she was laughing... THEN!!

She texted me back some news... Like i feel so distraught right now.. Well not really but there is a lump in my chest.. I guess I deserve that lump... Why do I deserve it.. Well the news my friend told me changed my perception on everything.. Lately I have been having terrible moments with someone.. And I do believe or rather I say I did wanted those moments to go by smoothly, which it didnt. I put my all into those moments and I only got one quarter. There is one thing my sister said, and I am holding it to her, boys always act 2 yrs younger than they really are.. And such I experienced.. I went to a game with a friend.. I never said he was obliged to stay with me but I went to sit to the back and he went wid his buddies.. :| wow...
ok... thats so not KOOL!! but I was like w.e I went on to do what I usually do...
N thats scope out the guys and their butts.. I HAD the hell of a time.. Like I told one of my bffz I really wish I was like 17 or 16 all over again.. cuz doing all that shit makes me feel like some pedophile.. or rather craddle robber!!!

So I sat there to have the time of my life which I did.. I totally got over the event... N I did see this dude who I saw on the Bus in first semester.. I thought he looked soo cute... LOL apparently yup he is younger than I am... so Like since I was affiliated with someone else I could make a move and say Hi..
but it was apparent he remebered me as the girl on the bus!! which is great!! haha...
so this is ... yess... I think I have typed a little to much.. but Imma continue

Today....!!

2009-02-17T19:35:00.002-04:00

I GOT IT DONE

So on saturday We made up our minds to go to Adept tattoos to get a peircing done.. but my friend felt un prepared so I did not anymore.. She wanted a few days to gear up herself for the ~~pain~~ lol...
So today we planned to go get it.. I met up with my floormate nicole who had hers done the day before and she recommended Kara's Urban Day Spa to me. So i thought WHy not since its much closer to us and my friend said it was cheaper..
We went to spring gardens and searched for the place after making an appointment.. we eventualy got it..

It was like time to gear ourselves.. i decided to be the brave one so I went first.. OMG it felt like a pinch.. Like I have gotten worse pinches from teachers to be quiet.. After it was done I was like WOW.. thats it huh???
then My friend got hers done n that was it..
EASY AS 1-2-3...
:|

Vday

2009-02-16T13:30:00.003-04:00

Valentines

Im not able to comprehend such a day.. but w.e Im not confused or whatever.. I am just sad.. utterly sad.. My relationship is slowly going down into the dumps and we are both trying but everything just seems to be going wrong... So what is it that I am missing.. What signs should I look at .. WHAT THE HELL SHOULD I DO?? Anyways whatever.. I guess im trying and thats all that matters..
I have a sore heart... that is slowly gettin cold.. And a part of me is beginning not to care...
If i dont be true to myself then.... Its like he thinks im all about me and not us.. And maybe im over reacting I just think that its a critical thing and ... I just simply dont know what to do or say... at least we kind of share some mutual sentiments...

Whatever.... May the tears fall...

What happened on VDay.. nothing really.. had a roller coaster night in my point of view.. and morning.. I think that day changed alot of my thoughts But I think its time to get used to this.. Submit myself to what i have to do and get over the rest...
im Done!!

♥♥♥ 13th feb!!

2009-02-12T01:46:00.002-04:00

♥♥♥

I really dont know But i think I need to write another Poem..
One that is going to be really deep Because I think I am breaking a heart again...
And It is one I have broken before...
One that I dont want to break again!!
And one that I know has built a wall that was suppose to be Immune to me..
but I keep on going back to that one.. And I know I am gonna break his heart..
i do Want to be a really good friend.. i think we settled upon not talking since we both felt something.. for each other..
but nothing was going to become of that since my heart actually did lay somewhere else..
But I miss the friendship, I wont lie.,..
And he is one of the few people who made me feel me around myself... Made me smile .. and laugh at a whole bunch of stuff..

*sigh*...
I dont know what to do because I dont want to leave him alone.. I just want him to be wid me... like before as my really good friend but you get all what you want right?

leona

2009-02-08T18:30:00.002-04:00

LEONA LEWIS

I am currently Listening to Leona Lewis.. Her song Run.. it just makes me think.. Prior to that I was texting a friend who was suppose to come over to chill.. but apparently the friend bailed out since he/she felt really tired and what not.. More like lazy but whatever.. I am trying to complete my bio labs.. it what I do every sunday Religiously.. I got my Pysch grades back and I am not pleased one bit. But I guess I am going to have to suck it in since the day before the exam I made that comment

Fuck it!! I am tired of studying for that stupid exam I need a damn BREAK!!

So yeh... I guess I deserved that grade for just watching the slides twice and being done with it... I am beginning to think I am gettin delinquent... And all i do is stay in my room and do nothing.. sleep and oversleep.. I really dont know how to rectify that problem but It needs to be rectified ASAP!! I am not used to getin B'z and gettin one would seriously break my heart... I got A's for my religious and bio midterms but they did not weigh as much as the psych one.. So i really need to pull up those socks...

At least thats how I feel currently.. People are crucifying me for my demands.. I want A's and I guess since i complain about B'z they get upset since they dont see a B as a bad grade.. I dont either But i never want to settle for lless.. I think Maybe IM wrong in complaining about my B... I need to suck it in and realise its not a bad grade at all and evidently Work on it!!

THE PARODY

2009-02-07T21:14:00.003-04:00

UGH... I HATE THIS PART!!

SO I am chilling there awaiting for someone to text me or something... I have this friend who promised to come chill wid me tonight but that friend decided not to keep that word and went somewhere else.. I am bored out of my mind that I could just cry... I am also o so very damn upset, reason being- I DONT KNOW..
I really really anticipated chilling with my friend but whatever.
So maybe I am upset with that friend.. I might just get over it and refuse to chill with that friend again... Its like to much...

One time The friendship is all mutual... We put in evreything EQUALLY.. Then one time, I put in stuff seeing thta promises are never kept Then... NOTHING HAPPENS..
what day was that, cant remember, my phone had a problem so i wasn't gettin much calls or texts.. I thought my friend didnt email me but apprently my friend did and my friend apologized and showed up to chill.. I was all yippeee and what not!!
but whatever I am like eff it
this friendship might just be over preeeeetttty soon Because I cant take it anymore

Blue

2009-02-05T00:54:00.003-04:00

POEM: Blue ...

And im blue
Because Of U...
I honestly hate you right now..
i do.. i jus ugh!!
jus friggin call me..
but thanks for the no show!!

That Poem

2009-02-05T00:32:00.002-04:00

POEM: And I Waited...

And I tried...
And I waited...
~~Like the fool that I am~~
I waited...
Waited with hope,
My smile waited...

And Im torn,
just because I waited...
And Honestly I never wanted too
Never felt I had to...
Promised myself I would have never wanted to...
But here I sit.. torn.. Just because I waited..

Im tired of being all alone
And Im gon try to go back where I once was...
Just before I fell...
I fell for something that was untrue...
Like a Fool
I waited...

This is a poem i pulled... out...
but there is more.. so ill get back to you on that

Late night

2009-02-03T23:18:00.002-04:00

Late Nighterz

Apparently I have gotten used to late Nighterz so I am up doing nothing.. Although I have a chemistry quiz tomorrow... Then my usual stupid recitation on friday...
By parts... Is a total bitch..!! Here I am complainin.. School got cancelled again today so YIPPEE.. I missed Chemistry labs.. TOTAL BUMMER because I actually enjoying doing those labs although every blessed week I break stuff in the lab...
~~From 2 funnels, a burrette, 3 test tubes and a thermometer :|~~
dont ask y!!
My butterfingers are getting better..
I am like a walking disaster..!!!

But thats ok!!
so I officially started my diet yesterday.. Im hungry like a Muhf!! but It will be all worth it I HOPE!! *lmao*
what else is there..I need to gym more But hopping from res to The Gym isnt that much of a good sight or feeling soo That option is totally out of the window!!
I met this new friend...
but im not revealing who yet...

Ice Ice

2009-01-29T14:17:00.003-04:00

ICE ICE ICE>...!!

Today I had to get to spring Gardens to the bank... SO Apparently last night it started snowing.... Freezing rain or w.e they call it.. Currently I dont care.. I was soo happy today I had no school whilst others had school... Apparently School got cancelled for the morning and alot of people are left free!!!
BIG TIME BUMMER because I cant rub it in anyone's face!!
secondly I still had that appointment so i had to hussle in the snow and the untreated sidewalks to get to the bus stop!!
I almost fell on my ass 5 times and that shit would have been definitely EMBARRASSING..
so i decided to walk slower than a snail... && I missed the bus!!
ugh!!

at least I had cora's today so yesss..
=D
My blog is coming along... Soon I might think about the website thing... I have been encouraged to start it so I might look into it.. And my paypal account is going smooth... 100 bucks pending payout so thats GREAT!!! The designs are great also.. Imight even design my own page... It might be a task but I guess it might be worth it since I feel so damn motivated now... I am currently searching for PS brushes I could use... I even bought some for 29.99.. A pack.. Thats how motivated I am....
Or maybe I just suck
:S

SONY!!

2009-01-28T23:37:00.003-04:00

A MILLI A MILLI A MILLI

So yesterday I got a call From a Sony rep saying That I won 3rd Prize in some competition I entered 4 months ago!!!
*sigh*
4 months ago I saw some add in the newspaper bout designing you own Vaio Laptop... So I thought wow KOOOOL!!!
SO one night I was bored and I visited the site... And I decided to design shit with photoshop.. Thats when my trials were still on... I designed "Doodle My world" and "Pink Complexity"
and I submitted.. I remebred saying My designs will nevr win but hey whatever... lets do this for fun... for the sake of seeing it displayed on the sony site!!!
then YESTERDAY I get a call saying I won 3rd prize and what not... I wa slike OMG OMG OMG for real..
So 3rd place wins a customizable sony Lappy!!.. With their own design on it and their own specs and what not!! Which is soo cool.. because Then They are gonna produce the new laptops coming out from sony with My design... And some others..
BUt that just sounds RARE cool..
MY design on laptops all around the world..
SWEEET!!!
Im soo like I dont knoww!!!
but hell yehh
let me link the site on here

http://www.thisvaiopcisme.ca/

what would you do

2009-01-19T21:33:00.002-04:00

WHAT WUD U DO??

So I am watching gossip girl and its so sad...
Not really just abit evil!!!
so I was upset about a certain incident that happened yesterday!!
Gossip... is ... WOW a waste of time people and I think we all know that!!

=)
enough said!!

serious

2009-01-18T16:51:00.001-04:00

SERIOUS ISSUE

There is this Serious Issue i feel I need to address... but this will be done in the later hours since I am completing a Bio Lab homework!!

Early Sunday Morning...

2009-01-18T15:22:00.002-04:00

Early Sunday Morning...

So last night aka this morning went to some useless party.. I call it useless because not much action was going on in that party!! So it turned out not much people were dancing on the 17th Floor in rice!! dumb dumb dumb dumb!!!
I went to bed after one hoping to get a one hour sleep, woke up then went up to the ~~dumb~~ 17th Floor!!

Alas!! Boring boring boring!!!
So eventually an hour later.. FYI- 2 hours of sleep lost for stupidity!!...
I went to bed after 5 am!!! =( I simply could not sleep anymore..

Got up, breakfast, then Im here in the schools study room!!
Trying to finish / Start off that stupid BIO!! lab!!
ugh

2009-01-17T10:39:00.005-04:00

Music

2009-01-17T10:02:00.002-04:00

Music As My Savior

So many times I feel incompetent to do what I usually do, its not because I don't want to do it but ... I'm blaming it on extreme highs and lows
Recently I discovered this Music blog: loserboimusic.blogspot.com and ~~YAY~~ I get all the new music I want before some even make releases.
Kewl huh?? Yup

I got a bunch of "Jackie Boyz" music... I doubt their album have been released but they are reallly sweet boys who named their group after their mom... Too sweet!!
So early Saturday morning... What should I do..
I guess I am obliged to do some Laundry!!!
soo...

DITTO

♥ ♥

and -25 degrees hit!!

2009-01-16T23:26:00.000-04:00

and -25 degrees hit!!

So after recitations... We decided to head to the mall!!!
Initial plans anyways.. I reallyw anted to do Cora's today but ...
QUERER ES PODER...

So we did the mall And My lawd My lawd!!! MY LAWD it was damn freeeeezing cold!!!...
like wow!! sooo I felt my face rip!!!

I finally got this top in my size... Since 0-not.. I was looking for it.. ~~OMG I GOT IT!!~~

So after the mall I tried it on wid my stripper boots Aunty got me for xmas..
WHOOPIES>> and yes I still have to work on the stomach!! toning

So gym Gym GYM and More Gyming for me!!

After Recitation

2009-01-16T13:28:00.000-04:00

After Recitation

So I got to my room minutes after one.. Stayed in the cafe to chill.. Apparently the weather is terrible.. I mean its sunny outside but its -25 Celsius... Definitely not suitable weather for me...
I just got Out of Recitations.. YIPPEE.. well not ~~just~~ but You know what I mean!! I am suppose to be going to the Mall today but As always feeling lazier than lazy so whatever happpens HAPPENS!! Need to get to ScotiaB and what not.. probably get some leggings... and blah blah..
me and shopping are HORRIBLE..
I can never get tired... Well I can after all those bags I end up carrying up to my room.. Which is Terrible...
its 1:31 pm and I really want to sleep.. SO I guess I will take a nap and then get up, get dressed and off to the mall for business... YEP Business

*big smile*

Friday: again!! time for class

2009-01-16T09:29:00.000-04:00

Friday: again!! time for class

~~I got class~~ ok Maybe i DO..
bUT ITS Friday again.. TGIF yay..
Means calculus 2 Recitations and that meant my thursday night was suppose to be for studying... We all know I did everything but that But i managed to put in 30 minutes on that Calculus 1100 paged text book!!
I was watching my emails and apparently I was suppose to designate some time for cheerleading practice... LOL its not like I am on the team I tried out with MG Last week and I guess we were expected to make a show..
Due to reasons I dont know, I felt like that was not the thing for me... And I probably suck as a cheerleader.. Haha
I could hear Jessica's Music piercing through my walls right now...!!!
Is that I a reminder that I need to hurry up and get dressed for class..
~~28 minutes~~ and Counting... !! O BOY!!!

Im out.. Gettin dresssedddd For Recitations
EWWWW

Im trying

2009-01-15T21:31:00.000-04:00

IM Trying

30 Minutes til Greys Anatomy and Im Sitting here, My roomie has left and I am wondering should I get into my Bathrobe and Linger around the room...
Or..
Study calculus..
for tomorrow..
Whatever the better one shall be..
Wish me Luck!!

I start here

2009-01-15T21:04:00.000-04:00

This Blog is going to my Baby...
My inner thoughts And Words...
And yes.. I am gonna make it nice..
I believe..

XX hugs and Kisses XX

Still Extra Sober

2008-12-24T21:42:00.000-04:00

So X-mas time again... and I havent touched not one bottle of BAILEYS... no i wouldnt say thats a surprise, thats utter disappointment...
I am in desperate need of gettin out of the house tonight... since I have not in 2 consecutive nights... O someone please save thy soul...
I finally got my grades back...
ALL A's BEYATCH!!! so you know what that one means.. right?? YEP YEP...
I currently have no obvious plans but lets see where that boat goes with me...
I have just been gloating all day long... hehe... the grades have me... so yep yep..
I guess calculus actually came out really good.. so DITTO...
all that complaining... wow!!!

BANG BANG- Its an A

2008-12-23T21:46:00.000-04:00

As any normal university student would be...
Might I say A freshman, I was petrified when I heard that most of my grades were out...
being that I constantly complained about my english Literature class and My Calculus Course I was so not eager to see those..

SO i slowly got unto the system..
And Ditto!!
An A in Literature... OMG.. IM gettin excited here..
Then .... Biology comes one..
Another A...
Sweet...
No this is beginning to feel like some God Damn fairy Tale..!!!
WOW..

OMG Psychology- mind and Brain comes on!!
Another A...

Ok I am sweating for Calculus here.. *please Lord lets get this one going going going...!

I complained so much about that course.. hmm
CALCULUS
~~My heart beats~~
OMG AN A... What??

then Chemistry... Another..
Lets just say I totally hit the ceiling there..
I just wanna Thank GOD..
first of all.. I am sorry to be so dramatic on this one but any freshman would have been extra happy to no not happy.. DAMN CONTENTED, ELATED, WOWERZ... My gosh..

=)

*currently On a High*
And too bad its not weed!!

My Weight Gain

2008-12-09T21:43:00.000-04:00

5 months ago I was talking to my BFF Lisa... Normal convo about going off to school and blah blah blah... then She started telling me about the Freshman 15.. I was like WTF that sounds like way absurd and don't think that will ever happen to me..
SO 5 months down the line I finally got the balls to get on a scale after one of my jeans failed to come up... From 99 lbs to 113 lbs...
WOW!!! talk about the freshman 15!!

So I went from An "i guess underweight" teen to maybe an overweight one in my books.. but whatever!!!

its like from 99-100 to 115
OMG..
Im getting fatttt!!! NOOOO

GYM TIME!!!